Tired of telling you, you have me
When I know you really don't
Tired of telling you I'll follow
When I know I really won't
Cause I'd rather stand here speechless
With no great words to say
If my silence is more truthful
And my ears can hear how to walk in your way
In the silence
You are speaking
In the quiet I can feel the fire
And it's burning, burning deeply
Burning all that it is that you desire to be silent, in me
Oh Jesus can you hear me?
My soul is screaming out
And my broken will cries teach me
What your Kingdom's all about
Unite my heart to fear you,
To fear your holy name
And create a life of worship
In the spirit and truth of your loving ways
-Jason Upton
My friend Andrew introduced me to this song. It's one of those songs that hurts my heart. In a good way. A necessary way. A scary way.
There's something to be said for the vulnerable truth- I'm tired of going to church and saying to myself (and moreso to Jesus) okay God, it's me and you- then gossip on the way home from church or be rude to my roommate or stress about my future. I'm sick of hurting God. I want it to be different- I want to yearn for Him, hurt for Him, feel His pain and experience His joy. I want to desire Him more than anything else. Maybe recognizing it and praying through this song will get me going. Get me started. Make me realize that He is speaking, in the quiet, and He'll reach out to me even though I pull away from Him.
Just a few thoughts from a tired student.
God bless you my friends.
